Facebook Peeves
Okay, is it just me, or are you too inundated with people asking to friend you? But not only do they want you to accept their "friendship," they also want you to like their page, follow their blogs, buy their books, play games with them, and join them in myriad events...
Okay, is it just me, or are you too inundated with people asking to friend you? But not only do they want you to accept their “friendship,” they also want you to like their page, follow their blogs, buy their books, play games with them, and invite you to myriad events.
ARGGHHHH!!
To me, there are some simple rules to using Facebook. If you want to friend me, prepare to do the following:
- If you’re asking to friend me, a nice thank you if I respond with a yes is appreciated.
- Do NOT ask me to like your page. If I wanted to like it, I would have already.
- Do NOT ask me to buy your books. Hey, I’m an author. I know all about promotion, and I know how annoying it is to have something unwanted shoved down my throat. Don’t do it.
- I don’t play FB games. Please, by all that’s holy, stop asking me to play. I get distracted enough just by breathing.
- Messaging me just to say hello? This goes to some of the men out there. I’m not trolling for a date on FB, and if you think flattering me about my lovely profile picture is a way to compliment me, maybe you should look closer at the pic. (It’s a book cover of mine. NOT a personal picture of me.)
- Telling me to share a picture of a starving child or cancer patient or like it, because if I don’t, I’m a heartless troll? A lot of those pictures allow advertisers to see information about you. And again, I’m all for feeding the hungry and caring for the sick, but I don’t have to share or like a picture to prove my worthiness as a human being.
- Posting all sorts of sexual, nude, and risque pictures on your feed will get you unfriended, unfortunately. While I’m a huge fan of gloriously naked bodies, I have small children. So no, not going there.
- Asking me to review your book, at this time, is just impossible. One, I don’t know you, and I really don’t need a crackpot telling me I stole a story because I read their book and then just happened to write a romance about boy meeting a girl. Yeah. No. In addition, I barely have time to review stuff for my friends. (Sorry Cat, I know we’re way past May.) So helping you with your own work takes a backseat to making a living and helping my buds.
Things that will keep you on my good list?
- Being respectful of others
- Realizing that posting five million buy links about your book isn’t endearing yourself, and actually posting funny or personal observations keeps my interest.
- Messaging me with actual important news or questions, or to tell me you liked my book. Yes, those notes are nice.
- Being a Facebook friend you’d like to have.
And that is all I have to say about Facebook at this time. Carry on.
Please buy my book and don’t forget to look at the naked picture I’m posting of myself that I took while I was trolling for Facebook friends, sending them games requests, and inviting them to every group I can think of. Oh and can you like everything I post and make sure you review my book after you buy it. And if you give me something less than 5 stars on the review can you please send me an explanation on why you only gave me 4 stars. Because all the other reviewers gave me 5, so I really think you should have a darn good reason for giving me a lousy 4 stars. And after you tell me that reason I promise to send you a couple of emails telling you all the reasons you are wong. And please tell all your friends about me and if it’s not too much trouble can you list those friends in alphabetical order so I can go send them a friend request? Thank you. 🙂
List of Facebook Peeves is Right On!! Thanks for a great blog!!